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1 Form of Self Sabotage that Cripples Your Blog

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This morning I found out that I have been accepted as a contributor to Lifehack.

2 hours later I was notified that my guest post submitted to Positively Positive had been accepted and will go live this Tuesday.

Both self-help blogs have huge communities, collectively sitting at 3 million readers.

Many years ago I would have shied away from seizing opportunities to write for either community.

I had a real problem with one “R” word.

I discuss in this Facebook Live video:

Responsibility

You may be totally self-sabotaging, crippling your blog in the process. Because you have a terrible relationship with the word “responsibility.” If you are like me or many other folks you were raised with the idea that being responsible was a negative thing. Or how responsible people sacrificed all types of good things, including their dreams, to pay bills, to raise a family and to fit in with your neighbor.

I subconsciously did stuff – or avoiding doing success-promoting stuff – with my blog because I feared taking on extra responsibility. I didn’t want to deal with an increased workload. I did not want extra clients. Or extra writing to do. I cared not to make more money because with more money came extra responsibility which meant extra work which meant more problems and headaches and issues and nightmares.

You may be in the same boat. Self-sabotaging, struggling and failing with your blog because you fear the extra responsibility that comes with greater success. The late nights blogging. The early mornings blogging. Watching less TV. Less time futzing around. Letting go frequent social engagements.

The Solution

I finally saw that extra responsibility meant I could have more fun inspiring more people to live their dreams. The “R” word was not more work; it was more play. I did spend more time working but really it was play to me. More writing, blogging, guest posting, selling, consulting, inspiring, helping people live their dreams and follow their fun.

If you are like me though you need to do some deep soul-searching to honestly assess whether you have a screwy, negative, dangerous view of the word “responsibility.” If this idea seems highly unpleasant or even terrifying, or if it feels like the concept impinges on your freedom you will do whatever you can to avoid taking on any extra responsibility. Or maybe, any responsibility overall.

To be successful you will become more responsible. But this is not a bad thing. This is a fun thing.

After spreading the word on my 2 upcoming guest posts on these world renowned blogs I find myself writing this post at 10 PM on a Friday night here in NYC. Most folks would rather be out at the movies with their husband, wife or family. A healthy majority of bloggers are out on social engagements right now. This is all well and good. I suggest you live a balanced life, enjoying life away from the laptop. But if you haven’t written 1000 words for practice today there’s a good reason why I am appearing on Pos Pos and Lifehack and why most other bloggers struggle to even get a guest post placed on any blog.

I am writing at 10 PM on a Friday night. Because when the day ends I will have written 3 guest posts, as I do most days.

This is the type of responsibility you take on when you really want to make your blog pop, to help as many folks as possible, to live your dreams and to have a max amount of fun in the process.

This really is a labor of love to me.

Which is why I changed my view of responsibility and also ceased to self-sabotage so horribly.

Your Turn

How do you view the word “responsibility” in regards to blogging?

In a negative light? Or in a positive light?

Ryan Biddulph inspires you with his courses, 100 plus eBooks, audio books and blog at Blogging From Paradise.

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Blogging

Are You Trying to Rank or Help People?

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Check the intent behind your blogging actions. What are your drivers? Some bloggers desperately want to rank, to place articles on page 1 of Google, to drive sweet, passive search engine traffic. Good luck with that. Nobody succeeds ranking until you give virtually all of your attention and energy to helping people with your blogging efforts. The rank comes after the generous help and that generous help often spans years of your life because developing page 1 Google skills is no joke. If it were easy, everybody would rank on page 1, right?

But you would be surprised by how many folks struggle blogging because the focus on rank over help dominates their minds. I never fell afflicted to this common limiting belief because I give scant attention to ranking on Google. Most of me could care less. I help people through my guest posts, blog posts, course and eBooks. My intent is to help people not to try to get traffic and money through manipulating things. Be honest about the big difference between the two because making this shift will improve your life tremendously, along with positioning you to experience increasing blogging success.

Focus heavily on people and little on things to discover the secret of blogging success. Bloggers succeed by generously helping human beings for sustained periods of time. Imagine some blogger who appears to be all over their blogging niche. Study this individual. Guaranteed, this bloggers generously helped people for years, hours daily, through multiple methods of helping people. Imagine guest posting, blogging, broadcasting live on Facebook and podcasting. See how the top bloggers always seem to be assisting people from a generous, genuine energy? Be that person. The tops never obsess over ranking because doing so attaches you to outcomes. Attach to outcomes. Feel fear. Attachment is fear. Any time you blog from a vibe of fear, you will struggle, fail and quit eventually. Top bloggers feel fears but release the energies versus panicking and bailing on generously helping readers. Everybody else panics, bails and tries to manipulate things to get traffic and money, failing horribly over the long haul.

Nobody gets ahead trying to manipulate things because money flows through humans mainly, then, through things which act as receiving channels. Imagine if I sell a copy of my blogging course. Generously helping human beings instills trust in the person who bought my course. Money flows from them to me through Selz, and my bank account, from their credit card or bank account. The things – Selz, bank accounts – are receiving channels, facilitating the sending and receiving of money, but generous service and trust put the financial transaction into action.

Stop trying to rank before all else because dealing with things solely – SEO and Google – moves you out of the realm of reality, into thing-ality. Bloggers who succeed keep helping folks generously and keep promoting themselves, realizing the things are just tools humans use to connect with each other, to help each other and to prosper each other. Focus on helping humans, not trying to rank on page 1 of Google, to uncover the secret to successful blogging….and to uncover the secret of ranking on page 1 of Google.

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Why Blogging Jealousy Is a Damaging Emotion

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I spent today enjoying lunch and a hike through the forest with my wife. But like the past goodness knows how many years, I will work 6-8 hours daily….or more. I put in an hour or so this morning. Now I get to work a bit before 5 PM. People love my travel photos. Folks often tell me how jealous they feel, envying our life. We are so lucky! We are blessed. We are aligned. All that jazz. But the same folks NEVER feel jealous or envious of the fact that I worked 6 hours daily for the past goodness known how many years of my life. I tell folks about my workload sometimes; most look at me like I have 3 heads, people proclaiming themselves lazy and definitely, believing I can have this workload because working long and persistently is not for them.

Before you envy my movie-worthy life, envy my movie-worthy workload. Before you jealously bust my chops about my photos in Fiji and Bali, be just as envious and flat out jealous of the 20,000 hours I have blogged over the past decade of my life. You cannot have the sweet fruit unless you patiently water the seed and allow for it to thrive, during growing season. Likewise, you cannot have blogging success unless you patiently, persistently and generously work, to succeed.

Jealousy and Damage

Most bloggers never realize the intense jealousy that damages their blogging campaign. Why does jealousy hurt you and your blog? Delusion, that’s why. Take my Fiji or New Zealand or Costa Rica pictures. Most people who see the pictures envy my life because most folks CHOOSE to work a 9-5 job and CHOOSE not to travel. In the same breath, after expressing intense jealousy at me living a cool life of travel, I advise the person to begin blogging, to engineer a similar life for self and family. In an instant, most bloggers complain about having no time, no time, and no drive to design such a life of fun and freedom. Why? Being jealous of bloggers immediately places you in a “they have it, but I cannot have it,” type victim, non-empowered, weakling energy. If you believe only I can live this life, and envy me, and you foolishly believe you cannot life this life, you make endless excuses to cling to your belief system. Said excuses guarantee your unhappiness and comfort.

If you envy my life of travel, envy the 6 to 10 hours or more I have worked every single day of my life over the years. Do you envy working 8 hours every Saturday and Sunday? Are you SOOOO jealous that I will work 6-7 or more hours today, after being out of the house for about 6 hours, hustling into the evening? Nope. I did not think so. Few human beings envy someone who works generously, diligently and persistently because most people hate doing the very thing that sets them free. Why? Doing the thing that sets you free forces you outside of your comfort zone, to face deep, pulsating fears. Facing these fears seems highly unpleasant. Nobody enjoys facing fears, but you need to face fears in order to grow, to succeed, and to live a life of movie-worthy levels, you being the object of blogger envy.

Stop being jealous. Get to work, admire industrious bloggers who live their dreams, and you too will live your dreams.

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11 Techniques to Conquer Anxiety

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Blogging

How to Ride out Traffic Swings

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Traffic swings occur for every single blogger who ever blogged.

Literally, nobody is immune from seeing traffic stats swing high, low, back, medium and all over, in between. How do you ride out these swings? Blog for the love of blogging and see traffic as an extra, a bonus, or some add on to your blogging campaign. Make the blogging work, the reward. See all else as extra, or a bonus, and you become totally chill in response to inevitable traffic swings. Way too many bloggers become obsessed with traffic stats. Even more make the foolish mistake of obsessing over traffic stats on a daily basis. Guys; this is nuts. How can you focus on daily traffic swings when you know all good, lasting things take time, energy and a willingness to have a vision? Relax. Slow down. Calm down. Trust in yourself. Trust in the blogging process. Good things take time and generous service.

Imagine if Jeff Bezos panicked over day to day traffic and sales numbers on founding Amazon over 2 decades ago? Imagine how doing so would have crippled his campaign? Everybody experiences swings – usually, wild swings – as a newbie entrepreneur and blogger because no growth is perfectly linear. Over time, with generous effort and a blanket trusting in the blogging process, you traffic increases month over month. But day to day analysis is a silly way to assess how you are doing. How in the heck can you honestly make a blanket assessment of your blog over a 24 hour period? It’s only 24 hours! We measure success in thousands and tens of thousands of hours…..not 24 hours. Come back down to earth. Get your head out of the clouds. Nothing of meaning, of lasting value, unfolds in 24 hours. Please be gentle with yourself and be even more gentle with your silly mind because the mind wants fast results but your heart knows; successful blogging is a long term gig.

Check Stats Infrequently

Do you have an absolute blast checking stats? If so, check stats monthly. Allow momentum to gain by generously helping people daily, over a monthly period. Observe your traffic stats to iron out any kinks and to not be swayed by the day to day fluctuations leveling most bloggers, creating a roller coaster wave of emotions in mind. I barely check metrics because if I love what I do, trust in the process and trust myself, the more generous service I put into blogging, the more blogging generously serves me. Simple equation here. Why in the heck would I assess my success based on 24 hour increments? Blogging success hinges on thousands of hours of generous service, not 24 hour blogs of work, right?

Pump your breaks guys. Get uber busy helping your readers by creating as much quality content as humanly possible. Be generous. Focus heavily on giving, not getting, to allow your daily stat checking obsession to dissolve just a wee bit. Blogging become uncomfortable here and there but does get easier and easier the more often you give freely of your time and talents. The challenge is not to panic when you resist checking stats for a few weeks as most folks go bonkers mad, ready to explode, once they try to detach from frequent stat checking.

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Do you want to make more money blogging by managing my energy?

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Law of Attraction Series: How to Make Money

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