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What To Do When People Aren’t Nice



It’s a dirty fact of the Web: When you combine anonymity with an instant global voice, which the Internet does perfectly, you’re going to run into a lot of jerks.

It is amazing how quickly common sense and basic courtesy get thrown out the window as people people call one another names, tell lies, spread rumors and do whatever they can to hurt the people on the other side of the connection. It is sad, frustrating and petty. However, it is all too easy to do when you forget that there are human beings at the other end of every computer.

Still, whether you are a casual blogger or a massively wealthy professional blogger, you’re going to run into people who don’t like you and make that known both off and on your site.

As such, it is important to know how to handle such situations so you avoid letting them drag both you and your work down to their level.

1. Keep Your Comments Civil

The first and most important place to start is on your own site, especially in your own comments or your own forum if you have one.

It is important to require that all user-uploaded content meet criteria for your site. This means not only ensuring that it isn’t spam, but also that it is civilized and respectful.

On my sites, I have a rule that it is acceptable to express any viewpoint that is on topic, but personal attacks are strictly forbidden. It is one thing to argue the merits of a viewpoint, but another to attack the people expressing them.

If a comment or a post crosses the line, delete it or edit it as appropriate and, whatever you do, do not show any favoritism for commenters you agree with. Keeping an even keel is crucial.

If you don’t allow personal attacks on your site, you immediately go a long way to making your site a better place for all commenters, not just yourself as an author.

2. Delete Emails and IMs

Though it seems most who want to harass enjoy doing so in a public sphere, some will also use email and IM to annoy bloggers or others on the Web they do not like.

The simplest solution to these unwanted messages is to ignore them. If they become too harassing, you can filter out the incoming emails and/or blog the IM accounts being used. If the person continues to be harassing and/or becomes threatening, you can look at the email headers to discover who their ISP and mail providers are and, if needed, notify them of the abuse.

However, the main thing is to not engage back. If someone has already contacted you with a tone that shows an intent to harass and annoy, any attempt to reason or make amends will likely just fan the flames and draw out the incident.

3. On Other Sites

In addition to comments and emails, some will also take the opportunity to post colorful and interesting opinions at other sites, either using forums or their own blogs.

These are tough situations to deal with because, even if the harsh words amount to libel, there is very little one can do about it. Unlike with copyright, there is no way to secure removal of libelous content as hosts, under U.S. law, have no obligation to do so.

The only response in these cases is, if possible, to file suit.

If the work is posted on a community site, such a forum, you might be able to get it removed by contacting the admins. Likely they have community guidelines similar to the ones I mentioned for blog comments. However, if they refuse a polite request to do so, there isn’t much more one can do.

Once again though, engaging and responding is almost certainly a bad idea. Once someone has already thrown good manners and respect to the wind, any attempt to explain, correct or interact is only going to make things worse.

4. Developing a Thick Skin

One of the most important things any blogger can develop resilience to insults, especially if they are going to be involving themselves in any political controversies.

Sadly, there is no real key or secret to developing a tough exterior. Some of it is a matter of nature, certain people seem to take such insults better than others, but much of it is learning how to walk away from a confrontation and distance yourself mentally from those who try to hurt you.

If you find yourself getting emotionally invested in a dispute, it’s best to end it there and walk away. Sometimes, for your own sanity, it is best to allow the other person to get the last word.

Your pride has to take a back seat to your overall happniess.

5. The Most Important Thing

In the end, don’t worry too much about how trolls and those who hate you will affect other’s opinions of you. Even if you run a business, everyone expects a few negative reviews.

The most important things to dealing with those who don’t like you on the Web is to make sure they are in the minority.

If you treat others with respect, create good content, keep your promises and try to do the right thing, for every person who hates you, ten will probably sing your praises. They may disagree with you, but they will respect you and it will show.

Bottom Line

In the end, the Web is a nasty place at times and, no matter how good of a person you are, some people are going to hate you. It’s a fact of life.

The best thing you can do is be prepared for it, understand your rights when you are in that situation and, most importantly, not let it get to you or stop your work, whatever it may be.

If you’re doing something that you feel is worthwhile, then it is too important to even consider stopping it because one person goes overboard with his disagreement. It is that simple.

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Are You Chasing the Flavor of the Month?



My first fundamental of successful blogging focuses you on being present.

All of our power resides in the moment.

None of our power resides in the future or past because neither exists.

Time is illusion.

Only Now is real.

Look at that brilliant featured image. I snapped it from the front porch during our trip to Fiji. Sweet things happen when you are in the moment, focusing all power on the present.

This marks my 796th blog post on Blogging Tips. I feel grateful to Zac for the opportunity to serve you. Plus I feel grateful for all success that flowed to me through these guest posts.

How in the heck did I write and publish nearly 800 guest posts on one blog?

I am in the moment, mostly. I am present. Plus I never, never, ever chase the flavor of the month.

Bruce Lee and Blogging

Alonzo Pichardo and I often chatted about being patient, persistent and present during the Online Success Chats Podcast.

Being patient, persistent and present helps you tap into immense powers, including the power of being creative *and* prolific. See my 800 blog posts on Blogging Tips as evidence of such power. Toss in my 2,008 articles (between posts and pages) on Blogging From Paradise and you understand: focusing on one core task, or core purpose, in the present, leads to amazing things.

Bruce Lee spoke of fearing not the man who practiced 10,000 kicks once, but he did fear the man who practiced one kick 10,000 times. He embodied this mindset in his genius, Renaissance Man type ways.

Lee’s wisdom and physical prowess are both timeless because he understood and lived this great truth: do 1 thing so frequently, with a focused energy, being in the moment, that you do it incredibly well. He understood the truth of how I live my life: where your attention and energy goes, grows.

The Flavor of the Month

Most bloggers struggle because they practice 10,000 kicks once, chasing hot niches, running after trends, and choosing to blog today, and podcast tomorrow, because everybody runs a podcast these days. Wait a second; live video reigns supreme? Time to become a live video expert. Meanwhile, as you jump from niche to niche, and from blogging to podcasting to live videos, I just wrote and published 800 posts on Blogging Tips alone. Plus I wrote and published 1,000 more guest posts on other blogs.

While most bloggers chase hot trends, profitable niches and the latest game changing opportunity, guys like Alonzo and I thrive by doing one thing alone so we do it incredibly well.

Success is yours, but success is not an overnight or week-long endeavor.

Stop chasing hot niches. Visualize your dreams in detail. Focus on your blogging wins. Invest in coaching and courses from top bloggers. Surround yourself with positive vibes and positive people.

Write, publish and connect with top bloggers by helping top bloggers.

Success Finds Specialists

I took a nap this afternoon. A calm, peaceful breeze kisses my face right now as I write and enjoy the day.

Imagine if you could work from home every day? Visualize that fun and freedom.

Sweet, right?

Specialists are the only folks who work from home full time. People who do 1 thing persistently, practicing this skill, so they become super skilled in a single, specialized niche.

I gave all of my professional energy to being a blogger for the past 10 years. I became really skilled at blogging because I never chased the flavor of the month.

Avoid program hopping, niche hopping and all forms of flavor-chasing.

Do one thing. Do it well.


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What Is the Incredibly Easiest Way to Drive Blog Traffic?



Drive traffic to other blogs.

Give what you want.

Help people get what they want and people help you get what you want.

I have found this to be the easiest way to drive traffic to my blog because friends I made through cross-promotion promote me around the clock, 24-7, 365. Easy peasy.

I checked my Twitter a few moments ago. During the past 3 hours I noticed 11 mentions, engagements and retweets collectively. 3 hours, 11 engagements, more blog traffic.

I drive a heavy amount of traffic to my blog by driving a heavy amount of traffic to fellow bloggers who drive a heavy amount of traffic to Blogging From Paradise every day, all day long.

The more you give, the more you get.

The hardest way to drive blog traffic is to try to do it solo. Imagine publishing one post and hitting social share buttons. Even if I do a fine job writing the post, gaining traction solo is tough because successful bloggers know: 1000 is better than 1. 1000 blogging buddies promoting you 24-7, 365 beats you promoting yourself or you trying to write and publish 5 to 10 or more posts daily.

I used to publish 60 posts daily between 2 blogs. Short videos and short posts created the bulk of the content. I had a difficult time succeeding because you can only do so much solo. I published 60 posts in a cyber cave. Nobody listened to me because I did not listen to anybody. But making friends by driving traffic to other blogs made blogging easier and easier for me.

My blogging buddies – who appreciate me promoting them – freely:

  • link to me on their blogs
  • retweet my posts
  • share my posts on Facebook
  • share my posts on LinkedIn
  • send my blog posts to their email list

That my friends is a lot of traffic flowing to my blog easily, freely and exponentially.

Every time a blogging buddy promotes you to their tribe you gain exposure to one more large, targeted audience. Imagine when you gain exposure in front of 10, 50, 100 and 1,000 or more audiences daily? This is serious traffic! Plus it is easy traffic because your prime duties of reading posts and tapping social share buttons, or, linking to fellow bloggers on your blog, are quite easy.

How to Drive Traffic to other Blogs

I spent a fair chunk of today driving traffic to other blogs.

I promoted some of my blog posts linking to my blogging buddies. I also retweeted and Facebook shared posts from other bloggers.

Each share lays the foundation for new blogging friendships and fortifies old blogging friendships. Every time I promote Donna Merrill or Alonzo Pichardo, we bond more deeply. Easy way to keep friendships strong and to grow your blog traffic exponentially.

You Will Run out of Time Solo But You Never Run out of Friends

Eventually, I ran out of time each day trying to do it all by myself. No human is super human. No human can be in a billion places at once, by their own steam.

But you never run out of friends if you are generous. During a reasonable lifetime, no blogger will befriend all 7 billion humans. You will however keep meeting friends every day if you drive traffic to other blogs every day.

As more folks befriend you, more folks promote you. What an easy way to increase traffic to your blog. Your ever expanding friend network does much of the legwork for you and also drives traffic to your blog:

  • when you sleep
  • when you travel
  • when you spend time offline with family and friends

Sounds sweet, right?

Give freely.

Drive traffic to your blog easily.

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What Are 2 Powerful Qualities of Top Bloggers?



John Chow and Bigfoot.

No correlation exists save this post. Although John is super tall. I met him in person during Affiliate Summit East.

Both JC and Bigfoot taught me 2 incredibly powerful qualities of top bloggers.

John taught me how to think abundantly.

Bigfoot taught me to be open-minded and to think for myself.

Think Abundantly

A while back I recall reading a post on John’s blog.

He explained how being an Amazon Associate creates a steady passive income stream.

For an example, he showed how linking to a product your audience finds useful – in the proper context – leads to blogging profits. At the time, I admired his strategy but could not get why you’d link to an affiliate product for a measly $2 commission. But of course, John thinks like, feels like and is a multi millionaire so he thinks of acquiring increasing wealth versus thinking of how little he makes on certain commissions.

$2 adds to the John Chow millions. Plus, even if JC began blogging yesterday, at zero, he thought like a millionaire well before becoming a millionaire, so he would have made his first $2 on his way to millions.

These days, I think, feel and act abundantly. I celebrate every penny I make online because where your attention and energy goes, grows. Top bloggers think abundantly. If you think, feel and act abundantly, at year’s end, the $2 commission per sale yields $500,to $1000, to $5000 per a single income stream because the more you celebrate money and feel rich, the more money you make.

Top bloggers think: money. Open 5, 10, 15 or more income streams. Seize every opportunity to prosper. $2, there, and 100 sales later, you made $200. Top bloggers think abundance – versus lack – and make money.

Be Open Minded and Think for Yourself

As you know, I love studying the creature Bigfoot.

Most humans are closed-minded and follow the herd, being lazy thinkers, and simply agreed with the herd; naturally, these folks believe Bigfoot is a myth.

A handful of YouTube videos of Bigfoot scientifically breakdown:

  • the size of these creatures: 7-10 foot tall, up to 5 feet wide, and 500-900 pounds
  • the physiology of these creatures; compliant gate, 90% knee flexion, absence of neck, hulking trap muscles, heavy brow ridge
  • the sounds these creatures make; clearly not within our current animal kingdom

If you are open-minded and think for yourself, you clearly see a huge, primate-type creature with some human-like qualities appears in these videos. Truth reveals itself to clear, deeper thinks.

But if you are closed-minded and agree with the herd, you become blind to the truth and see a guy in a suit, or hoax, in these handful of legit Sasquatch videos.

Like the small group of humans who know Sasquatch exist, top bloggers are both open-minded and do their own thinking. Successful bloggers open up to new strategies and new income streams. Plus these top folks never agree with the herd just because most people think a certain way; these pros think critically, for themselves.

I think incredibly deeply about blogging, and mindset, and see parallels no blogger on earth sees, save me. Why? I am open-minded and do my own thinking, for myself, never being swayed by the general public and its poisonous, limiting skepticism.

You almost have to be insane *not* to believe in Bigfoot after scientific video breakdowns and tens of thousands of credible eye-witnesses prove these encounters are with large primates, not humans in suits. Even a 300 pound, pro bodybuilder would look like a 5 year old trying to fit in his dad’s suit if he tried to wear a suit with dimensions for a 9 foot tall, 800 pound being.

In the same breath, you really need to be out there, if you are so closed-minded and agreeing with the poor masses, that you are blind to the truth of abundance around you, as a blogger.

Think abundance.

Open your mind.

Think for yourself.


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