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The Secret Weapon of Growing Your Blog



The Secret Weapon of Growing Your BlogSo I get up early this morning, hell bent to write this post based on another idea entirely.  And there waiting on my morning email is the latest masterpiece by Kristen Nicole, and everything changed.  Because she’s so right: don’t be a scaredy cat blogger.  Today I’m here to take that one step further. 

What I’d planned can wait.  This can’t.

Because what Kristen shared is the tip of a critical iceberg when it comes to growing your blog.  The secret to doing so is to brand yourself out here in the blogosphere.  The better the branding, the faster your blog will grow. 

But what does that even mean?

Blogging beyond the obvious

We’ve heard all the blogging tips before, respun, reinvented and rekindled in the name of yet another post you hope will stand out in a weary crowd.  It’s all about content.  It’s about the reader, not you.  Grab ’em with a killer headline.  Hook ’em with an irresistable lead.  Wow ’em with your insight and expertise. 

Dead on.  But it’s Blogging 1o1.  If you want to grow your blog, you not only need to do all that and more on a consistent basis, you need to do it with a distinct voice.  With an edge.  With a specific point of view that is uniquely yours, yet in context to all of the above.

It’s the only way to separate yourself from a very ambitious crowd. 

You can’t miss an effective brand. Even if you want to

Like it or not (and I don’t), Rush Limbaugh has a brand.  Jessie Jackson has a brand.  That guy with the fu manchu on on ESPN has a brand (which I do like).  So does Ritz Carlton, Nordstom and Morton’s Steak House.  You know what they stand for, you know what you’re getting.  And you keep coming back to get it.  Or at least, someone does.

Chances are you’re not blogging as a general commentary, you’re on a soap box looking out over a sea of hopeful neophyte faces that occupy a defined niche.  You and a thousand other self-proclaimed experts.  Nobody looking for cooking insight is reading this blog right now, unless they blog about it themselves. 

Are you a generalist or a lobbyist?  Are you rehashing or reinventing?  Are you fresh or are you recycling conventional wisdom?  Are you vanilla or are you triple chocolate cherries jubilee?

Killing your inner scardy cat

Have you pissed anyone off lately?  Have you bucked the system, rejected the accepted, proposed a fringe strategy that suddenly makes all the sense in the world?  What is your voice?  Your platform?  Your passion?

The key to successful branding is twofold: consistency and credibility.  But with an edge.

You’ll get knocked right off that soap box unless you can back your bluster with war stories and scars.  Have you been there or are you reflecting what others are saying?  Do you know, or do you parrot what others know? 

Be sure you know before you write what you know

As for me, I write in the fiction niche, presuming to tell authors how to write better stories and stay sane in the process of trying to publish them.  I’m new to blogging, and yet my blog has taken off like an Octo-Mom reality show.  Why?  Because I’m bucking the system.  I’m delivering a new and better way to approach writing, something writers haven’t heard before and are thristy for.  Because the established way is crap.  I’m offering something that pisses off roughly half of the people who think they already know.

It’s fun, pissing people off.  Especially when you know what you’re talking about and can back your position in a smackdown.  Which I absolutely can.

When you understand the equity behind your brand, you need to be strategic about how you put it out there.  It’s truly a show-don’t-tell proposition (remember that one, from your freshman creative writing class?).  It’s the veiled, even self-deprecating reference to your own life experience (like I just did in the previous paragraph) that uses the power of your message to take the deprication out of the delivery. 

Readers recognize the real deal when they see it.  So the first rule of branding is to be that blogger, the real deal, and then put a spin and an edge on it with every post.

Bold branding is a strategy

Successful branding strategies are never random or accidental.  They are the product of a carefully conceived and proactively honed marketplace identity, backed with the establishment of content and tone that embodies it.  When delivered consistently, the brand emerges from between the lines of the content itself.

Every columnist who keeps their gig more than a year knows this.  And a blog is nothing if not a column in the truest sense of the word. 

Do you know the nature of your brand?  Do you even have a brand?  Do you understand who you are as a blogger, or more importantly, as a player in your niche?  Once you do, the secret to growing your blog isn’t so much the content of it as it is the essence of it.

The essence of it is your brand.  And if you live it in every post, your blog will begin to grow.

Image credit: Marsdencartoons

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4 Ways to Become More Detached from Blogging Outcomes



See that throwback featured image of me in Phuket, Thailand?

I became a globe trotting pro blogger in part through the power of detachment.

Blogging outcomes weigh you down and slow your blogging growth, if you are not careful.

Many bloggers mean well but are so obsessed with every view, Like, comment, share and dollar that they either struggle horribly or hold back stunning blogging success. How could I write over 100 eBooks if I obsessed with sales from my first eBook? How could I write 600 posts on Blogging Tips alone if I obsessed over metrics?

Eye-popping success finds largely detached, generous bloggers.

Follow these tips to become more detached from blogging outcomes.

1: Help More Ask Less

If you want blog comments, comment on other blogs.

Want blog traffic? Promote other bloggers.

Help bloggers to detach from your needs and to see greater success. Ask less and less for shares, comments and views, to detach from outcomes. Success finds generous bloggers.

2: Mention 2-5 Successful Bloggers Via All Posts

I recall focusing heavily on blogging profits early during my career. I linked to an ad or affiliate product once per post and linked to nothing else, obsessing over sales, attaching to outcomes. I gradually promoted other bloggers over years. Now I promote 2 to 5 bloggers virtually every post. I think more of helping them and less of helping me.

Corey Hinde promoted me tirelessly over years. He mentions me regularly. Jan Verhoeff does too. Each blogger detaches from their own needs to help other bloggers, accelerating their online success.

3: Manage Your Energy

Attachment is fear. Managing your energy helps you:

  • face fear
  • feel fear
  • release fear
  • dissolve attachments

I do 80 minutes of deep yin yoga daily. Plus I jog or walk for 45-60 minutes daily. Meditating helps too.

Managing your energy rocks because so many bloggers cling deeply to fear-attachments, to stats and money and to clients and blogging buddies, and need a daily ritual to unearth and release these attachments. I strongly suggest deep yin yoga because it helps you become comfortable. Big time quality developed by all generous, pretty darn detached, bloggers.

Don Smith shares personal growth and energy shifting gems on his blog. My wife Kelli Cooper does too at Life Made to Order.

4: BE with Your Fear

I vividly recall sitting and BEING with my fear each time I checked my blogging inbox. I felt a general not enough energy pervade my being. Panic then ran through my body. Anger. Pain. Grief, at time lost. All fears reflected heavy attachments to:

  • money
  • list subscribers
  • traffic
  • fame

I totally believed I should have been further along at these points during my blogging career. Turns out, I was at the perfect place and time to feel deep fears, to dissolve attachments and to proceed from a generous, genuine, pretty detached, patient and persistent space.

Fighting fear only makes attachments grow. Not checking email for weeks because you feel terrified to check email makes the fear and attachment grow. But checking email hourly because you feel terrified that you:

  • will miss out on clients
  • are not making enough money, and need to check and see if you are making any aka enough money, yet

reflects your attachment to you. Ya know; “How am I doing-itis.” Check stats, check email, all the time, because you fear to see how you are doing.

Feel fear behind any strategy driven by fear. Let the fear go. Dissolve the attachment.

I check email here and there, never being attached to it. Email is not the source of my blogging success.

Treat blogging outcomes like mile markers on a highway, when you whiz by at 80 MPH. Note the stat for a few seconds and either move in a different direction or charge forward, based on how you feel about the stat, and what the feeling suggests to you.

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How to View the Relationship Between Your Blog and Social Media



Alonzo Pichardo says it best.

“Buy your own domain and hosting and make that your own main hub. Social media is a branch of the marketing tree. That’s all.”

He shared my video on Instagram. Video registered 3,926 views. Here it is:

Buy Your Domain and Hosting

I filmed the video because I spent 20 minutes clicking profile links of folks who Liked my updates. I found a few self-hosted WordPress blogs, read and commented on these blogs. Relationships established. But most Instagram users:

  • had no blog to speak of
  • linked to YouTube
  • linked to Facebook

For the heck of it, I spent a good 3 minutes looking for one user’s blog. I found an obituary (he was young and alive but shared a common name) and a collection of spammy “look up his information sites.” He claimed to be a blogger via his Instagram bio but he is no more a blogger than I am a werewolf.

Think about Alonzo’s advice; the blog is your main hub, or root, or base of your tree, and social media acts like branches. Offshoots, nothing more.

Big Mistake

Instagram owns Instagram. Instagram:

  • can kick that kid off of Instagram for 1 of a billion reasons, in a heartbeat
  • WILL change their algorithm, soon enough, forcing the kid to change his strategy, uprooting his online world
  • forces the kid to make his brand, Instagram’s brand

Not investing is a domain and hosting is about the biggest mistake you can make online because not owning your site hands your power, your decision making, your branding potential and your monetizing potential to someone else.

Social media is a branch. Spend most of your time daily working on your blog and networking with other bloggers who own their self-hosted, WordPress blogs. Unless they change their values or quit blogging, this is the most sound, intelligent approach to blogging.

Use social media for a little bit daily to:

  • tag bloggers you mention on your blog
  • help bloggers in groups related to your niche
  • share your blog posts
  • share other blogger’s blog posts

You are a blogger. Not an Instagrammer. You are a blogger. Not a Facebook-er. Spend most of your day on blogs. Not social media.

Marios Tofarides runs an authority blog on eBooks. Not in a billion years could he make his social media profiles look anything like his branded, self-hosted blog. Paula at Contented Traveler runs a first class travel blog. She could never re-create her blog’s branding, style and voice on social media. Sarah Arrow built a well known brand and thriving business by making her blog stand out, through creating, through connecting and through smart blog branding. Impossible to do this, through social media alone.

Pay Up to Play Up

I can mention your blog on Blogging From Paradise, a DA 47 blog read by many influencers.

I can mention your blog on Blogging Tips, a DA 48 blog read by many blogging influencers.

But I never link to free platform blogs because no influencer or experienced reader trusts information on free platforms. If you cannot invest $3 a month, you carry too much of a fear-lack-poverty conscious energy, that seasoned readers and top bloggers know to avoid.

I never link to a social media profile because….social media is not a blog!

Pay up to play up.

Invest in a domain and hosting. Move up in blogging circles. See social media as branches, using Facebook, Twitter and Instagram as secondary or even tertiary means for helping people. Spend most of your time on your self-hosted, WordPress blog and networking on other self-hosted, WordPress blogs.


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1 Failure Conscious Tendency That Makes Blogging Tougher



Some bloggers cannot accept a good thing when they get it.

I have linked to tens of thousands of bloggers over my decade online. I love my friends. I take care of my friends.

99.999999% of bloggers are beyond grateful to get a backlink from an established, pro blogger like myself for many reasons:

  • Blogging From Paradise has a DA of 47; that’s some backlink juice!
  • Blogging Tips has an even higher DA; 48 I believe, meaning more backlink juice
  • you bond more deeply with me, and forming a deeper friendship allows me to open doors for you, via guest posts, more backlink mentions, interviews, prospering partnerships
  • greater blog traffic through exposure
  • greater blog profits through exposure
  • greater brand awareness through exposure, and also, your blog and brand aligns with Virgin, Forbes and Fox News, sites I have appeared on, creating greater trust

I could go on for 45 minutes. The list of benefits are endless. There are absolutely no downsides to being mentioned by me, on my blog or via guest post. Yet, some folks, because of their own fears, cannot accept these gifts freely and gratefully. Hey guys; I luv ya’s. This is not a rant, but a lesson in seeing good (versus fear/downside), expressing genuine gratitude and learning how to move up in blogging circles, by being fully grateful to receive the above gifts and by purging any fears or lack of gratitude you feel, when a world renowned blogger links to you.

Virtually all bloggers are grateful for receiving the above list of benefits. Donna Merrill is a blogging high roller and she responds to virtually all my tags and mentions. I would never expect her to do so because we are great friends, and she is so busy, but that is heart-filled blogging.

But a few bloggers clinging to deep fears have responded to my generous backlinks a few different ways:

  • some fear the linking structure is not neat and orderly
  • some fear they are not getting enough link juice via Google, and ask me to log into search console and make changes or whatever
  • some fear they are not getting enough links to a specific site or permalink, and ask me to edit the post, to change the link

All above motivators are fear, and fear is not real, so if you honor these fears and react-respond in the above fashion, you judge things or make a request from an illusory, untrue, false, totally not real energy of loss, lack, limitation.

That fear has 100% to do with you, and nothing to do with me. I will keep being generous with my blogging buddies, but I seek out loving buddies, not those weighed down a bit too heavy by fear, so fear-bloggers gotta go, along with their links, going forward.  Nothing personal, as I love and respect these folks. Just an energy thing.

We See the World as We See Ourselves

You see the world, you see other bloggers and you see their linking strategies as you see yourself.

If someone fears they won’t get enough traffic or clicks or Google juice through my linking strategy, that has nothing to do with the guy featured on billionaires’s blogs, and living his dream, circling the globe. That has to do 100% with you, your fear of loss, your fear of not enough, your trust issues, and other deep, fear based energies, begging to be unearthed and felt.

I am the mirror. You are the source. You are cause, and effect.

Picture break! Me during my trip to Fiji with my friend Olivia.

My dear friend Alonzo Pichardo sent me a Message months ago. He was deeply grateful I had linked to him 50 plus times on Blogging Tips alone. He is grateful! Does it surprise you that the guy runs a highly prospering business and leads a huge, loyal following?

David Boozer routinely sends me Messages sharing how grateful he is for my eBooks, courses, content and mentions, writing from the heart. More gratitude! Does it surprise you that one of his YouTube channels has registered millions of plays, alone?

Alonzo and David do not ask me to change links or put stuff into Google console or to change my linking style; they know a gift when they see it.

Vishwajeet Kumar feels incredibly grateful for each backlink I give to his helpful blogging resource, and expresses his gratitude on social media.

This is how you move higher in blogging circles, to see more success, versus moving lower, through fear-based lack of gratitude, and, losing link mentions.

Guys; see the blessing in a coveted backlink. Be grateful. See the good. Move up in the blog-0-sphere. Experience increased blogging success.

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