I was 16 years old.
I just got my driver’s permit.
My mom asked me if I wanted to man the wheel.
We were cruising down a quiet side street when I changed places with my mom and sat behind the steering wheel for the first time. I felt excited. Scared. Happy. Terrified. I had no clue what to expect. I had never sat behind the wheel of an automobile – even in jest – so this new experience both thrilled and scared the bejesus out of me.
I moved the car into gear, from park to drive.
I semi-floored it, pressing down hard on the gas.
In 2 seconds I reached 30 miles per hour. Whoa! I was stunned, surprised and again, scared. So I slammed on the brakes. I mean, I REALLY slammed on the brakes. Almost gave me and my mom whiplash.
I immediately put the car in park, handed the keys to my mom and changed seats.
I had enough, for my first 10 seconds of actually driving a car.
The Second Time Around
I learned my lesson from the initial experience.
Instead of blindly trying to figure out how to drive a car on my own I asked my mom for some tips.
She gladly obliged.
This time, I put the car into the drive gear but did not touch the gas pedal at all. I allowed the car to coast at about 5 MPH down a quiet side street. I then learned the art of feather touching when gently pressing down on the gas pedal. If I barely touched it, the car slowly and gradually reached 15 MPH. I pressed a tiny bit more. The car reached 25 MPH. Another light tap – a wee bit deeper than the prior pressure – and the car reached 35 MPH.
I spotted a stop sign ahead.
I applied the same concept to the brake pedal, starting to press on the brake softly from about 40 feet in front of to the stop sign. Gradually, gently, I pressed the brake to the floor as the car came to a full stop at the sign.
My second driving experience was a success. No wasted gas. No herky jerky motion. No neck braces needed after I commanded da whip.
The Blogging Analogy
My first driving experience mirrors the common experience of most new bloggers.
This crowd has no idea how to blog or why they want to blog other than making some money.
So they go all out, working like mad for a number of days, weeks or months. Like when I floored the car foolishly on a side street and reached 30 MPH in a few seconds.
This crowd looks for desired results, feels stunned, confused and surprised when they see nothing, says “Whoa, what the heck am I doing? Wasting my time because I’m not making money or getting traffic!”
Then they slam on the brakes. Hard. Really hard. They either throw in the towel with blogging, quitting for weeks or months or years…..or they hand the keys of their domain to another blogger when it expires and another entrepreneur gobbles up the cyber real estate.
Like when I handed the keys to my mom, except they never get in the car again.
They quit forever because they:
- never blogged for the fun or love of blogging
- never learned how to blog from an experienced, pro blogger
- flipped out after a short, wild ride, slamming on the brakes after their poorly-planned, poorly-energized approach flamed out quickly
The Second Ride (The Successful Ride)
My second, successful ride mirrors those new bloggers who create their blog intelligently.
They know why they want to blog – for fun, and, with love – and start from the proper energetic space.
Before my second ride I felt calm, confident and relaxed.
I asked my mom – an experienced driver – for advice. As smart newbie bloggers ask seasoned pros how to blog successfully.
I followed the advice, coasting, then gently tapping on the accelerator and then, the brake, well before I needed to stop.
This is similar to a newbie blogger who calmly, slowly and intelligently follows proven steps with a fun, loving, largely detached energy. You work calmly, and rest regularly, taking frequent breaks to recharge your energy.
You’ll have a successful blogging ride, gradually sharing helpful posts, promoting other bloggers, making friends, boosting your blog traffic and in time, increasing your blog income.
All because as a new blogger, you learned how to drive your blog.
Did you dig this analogy?
How are you driving as a new blogger? Like my first or second ride?
If you want to travel the world through blogging I wrote an eBook to help you:
4 Ways to Become More Detached from Blogging Outcomes
See that throwback featured image of me in Phuket, Thailand?
I became a globe trotting pro blogger in part through the power of detachment.
Blogging outcomes weigh you down and slow your blogging growth, if you are not careful.
Many bloggers mean well but are so obsessed with every view, Like, comment, share and dollar that they either struggle horribly or hold back stunning blogging success. How could I write over 100 eBooks if I obsessed with sales from my first eBook? How could I write 600 posts on Blogging Tips alone if I obsessed over metrics?
Eye-popping success finds largely detached, generous bloggers.
Follow these tips to become more detached from blogging outcomes.
1: Help More Ask Less
If you want blog comments, comment on other blogs.
Want blog traffic? Promote other bloggers.
Help bloggers to detach from your needs and to see greater success. Ask less and less for shares, comments and views, to detach from outcomes. Success finds generous bloggers.
2: Mention 2-5 Successful Bloggers Via All Posts
I recall focusing heavily on blogging profits early during my career. I linked to an ad or affiliate product once per post and linked to nothing else, obsessing over sales, attaching to outcomes. I gradually promoted other bloggers over years. Now I promote 2 to 5 bloggers virtually every post. I think more of helping them and less of helping me.
3: Manage Your Energy
Attachment is fear. Managing your energy helps you:
- face fear
- feel fear
- release fear
- dissolve attachments
I do 80 minutes of deep yin yoga daily. Plus I jog or walk for 45-60 minutes daily. Meditating helps too.
Managing your energy rocks because so many bloggers cling deeply to fear-attachments, to stats and money and to clients and blogging buddies, and need a daily ritual to unearth and release these attachments. I strongly suggest deep yin yoga because it helps you become comfortable. Big time quality developed by all generous, pretty darn detached, bloggers.
4: BE with Your Fear
I vividly recall sitting and BEING with my fear each time I checked my blogging inbox. I felt a general not enough energy pervade my being. Panic then ran through my body. Anger. Pain. Grief, at time lost. All fears reflected heavy attachments to:
- list subscribers
I totally believed I should have been further along at these points during my blogging career. Turns out, I was at the perfect place and time to feel deep fears, to dissolve attachments and to proceed from a generous, genuine, pretty detached, patient and persistent space.
Fighting fear only makes attachments grow. Not checking email for weeks because you feel terrified to check email makes the fear and attachment grow. But checking email hourly because you feel terrified that you:
- will miss out on clients
- are not making enough money, and need to check and see if you are making any aka enough money, yet
reflects your attachment to you. Ya know; “How am I doing-itis.” Check stats, check email, all the time, because you fear to see how you are doing.
Feel fear behind any strategy driven by fear. Let the fear go. Dissolve the attachment.
I check email here and there, never being attached to it. Email is not the source of my blogging success.
Treat blogging outcomes like mile markers on a highway, when you whiz by at 80 MPH. Note the stat for a few seconds and either move in a different direction or charge forward, based on how you feel about the stat, and what the feeling suggests to you.
Quick Tips to Easily Find People and Other Bloggers Online
Unlike Las Vegas — where ‘what happens there, stays there’ — once something is on the internet, it’s pretty much there forever. This is something bloggers, content creators and businesses know all too well. Whether it’s a WordPress article, social media updates, of photos making their way into the Google index, it’s likely going to be online forever.
It’s not just about posting and uploading content on the internet that you need to worry. It’s also all of the massive and easily accessible information that can be found online as well. With more data leaks taking place than ever before, and pretty much having privacy being a thing in the past, it’s easy to find information on anything and anyone with just a few clicks of a button.
For example, have you ever met someone at a blogging conference or event, but forgot to grab their business card? A lot of times we want to meet such people again but have no clue how to find them or their contact details. Through social media and using online tools like a people search, finding exactly what you need is now easier than ever before. Thankfully, we have this amazing platform called the internet – where we are able to find people around us ourselves.
There are plenty of other ways to find information or direct contacts for people online. In addition to using a People Search, social media is also a great method for finding whatever you are looking for. This is especially true if you can find someone on LinkedIn.
To start off, simply grab a notepad and write down the name of the person you want to search. Once you do that, branch out names of people you think are associated to them or at least the name of the person who introduced them to you if you were meeting them for the first time. Next, try and connect businesses, offices, college, university or any piece of information you think is or can be relevant to them. By now, you must have a web looking piece of information already giving you a clue.
How Do People Search Engines Work?
Making the best use of the amazing platform that we discussed – the internet, we need to find online people search engines which will process all the information we know and share possible match results for people we are looking for. To help you understand what a people search engine is and how do people search engines work, just imagine a library or a music record store. People search engines have a huge pool of database with information that is allowed to be displayed publicly. Such information contains phone numbers, education, employment history and sometimes criminal history as well. However, the information uploaded with any people search engine must be approved or must be in accordance with Fair Credit Reporting Act (FCRA).
Once you have the maximum information with you uploaded in a people search engine, it will run a match and show most relevant list of result for people associated with that information. You may further screen the results by looking at each option individually to figure if that’s the same person you are searching for.
Meanwhile, there are other sources to track someone apart from people search engines. Finding people through social media platforms has also been observed to take a troll. Many youngsters put up millions of searches every day through social media platforms including Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram, SnapChat, etc. to find people they just met or to know more about them.
In all, finding someone in today’s world is no longer a rocket science. With multiple online people search engines and various social media platforms, tracking someone down has become as easy as finding a book in a library or a record in a music store.
How to View the Relationship Between Your Blog and Social Media
Alonzo Pichardo says it best.
“Buy your own domain and hosting and make that your own main hub. Social media is a branch of the marketing tree. That’s all.”
He shared my video on Instagram. Video registered 3,926 views. Here it is:
I filmed the video because I spent 20 minutes clicking profile links of folks who Liked my updates. I found a few self-hosted WordPress blogs, read and commented on these blogs. Relationships established. But most Instagram users:
- had no blog to speak of
- linked to YouTube
- linked to Facebook
For the heck of it, I spent a good 3 minutes looking for one user’s blog. I found an obituary (he was young and alive but shared a common name) and a collection of spammy “look up his information sites.” He claimed to be a blogger via his Instagram bio but he is no more a blogger than I am a werewolf.
Think about Alonzo’s advice; the blog is your main hub, or root, or base of your tree, and social media acts like branches. Offshoots, nothing more.
Instagram owns Instagram. Instagram:
- can kick that kid off of Instagram for 1 of a billion reasons, in a heartbeat
- WILL change their algorithm, soon enough, forcing the kid to change his strategy, uprooting his online world
- forces the kid to make his brand, Instagram’s brand
Not investing is a domain and hosting is about the biggest mistake you can make online because not owning your site hands your power, your decision making, your branding potential and your monetizing potential to someone else.
Social media is a branch. Spend most of your time daily working on your blog and networking with other bloggers who own their self-hosted, WordPress blogs. Unless they change their values or quit blogging, this is the most sound, intelligent approach to blogging.
Use social media for a little bit daily to:
- tag bloggers you mention on your blog
- help bloggers in groups related to your niche
- share your blog posts
- share other blogger’s blog posts
You are a blogger. Not an Instagrammer. You are a blogger. Not a Facebook-er. Spend most of your day on blogs. Not social media.
Marios Tofarides runs an authority blog on eBooks. Not in a billion years could he make his social media profiles look anything like his branded, self-hosted blog. Paula at Contented Traveler runs a first class travel blog. She could never re-create her blog’s branding, style and voice on social media. Sarah Arrow built a well known brand and thriving business by making her blog stand out, through creating, through connecting and through smart blog branding. Impossible to do this, through social media alone.
Pay Up to Play Up
I can mention your blog on Blogging From Paradise, a DA 47 blog read by many influencers.
I can mention your blog on Blogging Tips, a DA 48 blog read by many blogging influencers.
But I never link to free platform blogs because no influencer or experienced reader trusts information on free platforms. If you cannot invest $3 a month, you carry too much of a fear-lack-poverty conscious energy, that seasoned readers and top bloggers know to avoid.
I never link to a social media profile because….social media is not a blog!
Pay up to play up.
Invest in a domain and hosting. Move up in blogging circles. See social media as branches, using Facebook, Twitter and Instagram as secondary or even tertiary means for helping people. Spend most of your time on your self-hosted, WordPress blog and networking on other self-hosted, WordPress blogs.
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