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How To Handle a Heckler, And Why It’s Good to Have ‘Em Around



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If you’ve been to a live stand-up comedy show and witnessed someone foolish enough to take on the headliner with an onslaught of barbs and caustic bon mots, you probably noticed how the performer didn’t miss a beat in eviscerating the inebriated fool with untouchable, unfathomably witty barbs. 

Almost as if they’ve heard it all before.  Almost as if it had been planned.

The crowd loves it.  The performer loves it. 

The heckler, not so much.  Because they never stood a chance, and the ensuing laughs are completely at their expense.

But when it happens to bloggers, nobody loves it. 

Because your response, tempting as it may be, can’t go anywhere near the acidic agenda of your attacker.  No, you need to take the higher road.

If you don’t, the attacker wins.

Leave the genius beheading to the comic professionals.  For you, the earnest, well-intended blogger, the exact opposite is the desired response.   You need to ask, “what would Ghandi say?” and paraphrase from there.

The only thing you and the headliner have in common in this situation is this: it’s an opportunity for you both to shine. 

You have options when someone attacks you.

One is to ignore it completely.  

But if you do, other readers are left to assume you’ve been legitimately taken down, that you have no worthy defense.  Or worse, no interest in the debate. 

Another option is to strike back with an onslaught of logic and irrefutable defensiveness that paints the attacker for what he/she is: no match for you. 

Even if you do this politely, though, readers will quickly see through this and miss your point.  And you will have missed an opportunity.

The goal isn’t to make the attacker wrong.  The goal is to rise above the tone of the attack and kill them with kindness.  Even if they are wrong.

Because the attacker has just done you a favor.  And you need to seize the moment and make it work for you.

In the world of printed words, nothing is quite as deadly as understated kindness and the coolly polite acknowledgement that what they’re saying is worthy of consideration.  Even if it’s not.

What is worthy in this moment is your ability to stay on top.

Context is everything when this happens.  If the attack waxes personal, that’s a context that can hurt you if you go there, too.  So your first challenge is to shift the context back to the issue at hand rather than the style with which the slings and arrows were thrust at you.

Don’t walk away from the fight.  The trick is to dismantle the intention to pick a fight in favor of engaging the attacker on a different level.  Nothing you can say will piss them off more.

Kill them with kindness. 

Thank them for their contribution to the discussion.  The meaner their intent, the more effective your cleverly turned other cheek will prove to be.

Wondering if this works?  I did, too, at first.  My blog often takes positions on issues of writing fiction that rub conventional wisdom against the grain, and people aren’t shy about telling me so.

Lucky for me I allow my wife to censor these exchanges (she knows me well).  And when I’ve yielded to her more evolved confrontational sensibilities and responded with gratitude for the opportunity to readdress an issue from another perspective – and then, without ever losing the context of cool, completely yet gently dismantling their uninformed take on the subject – I get fan mail.

Readers love a blogger with unshakable confidence in their content and without the slightest need to make an ass out of someone who has already done a fine job of doing so themselves.

So what I do, first and foremost, is thank them.  And it’s genuine.

Because with every attack comes the opportunity to strut your stuff – your professionalism, your empathy, your high-road sensibilities and the complete and total command of your content.

Of course, if the attack is personal you can always go behind the scenes and delete them into oblivion.  But if you do, you just might be missing an opportunity to make this a win-win situation.

A win for you, and a win for the reader, who will come back for more.

As for the whack-job who attacked you, trust me on this: if you don’t engage on their level, they won’t try it again.  Because they’ll know they’ve been bettered.

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Advanced Blogging Tip: Have a Poor Link Memory



I create oodles of content daily. One tip to being prolific is to have a poor link memory. I forget what I published content-wise and link-wise to keep publishing content frequently. Do you know how most bloggers publish one blog post, include a link to a product and/or service, and keep checking the post again and again, to see how the link performs as far as clicks and conversions and sales and profits and money? I never do that. I have no time and energy to check how my links perform because I have a terrible link memory. I am always on to the next piece of content to create and the next link to place and the next person to help because I have a poor link memory. I forget links. This works perfectly for me; makes me super duper prolific.

Most bloggers attach to and cling to particular business links. What happens if you attach to a link? You give attention and energy to checking the link again and again instead of creating more content from a generous, prolific energy. How can you appear to be all over your niche if you check links regularly throughout the day and if you are not creating helpful, new pieces of content? You cannot be super successful if you are not prolific and you cannot be super prolific unless you have a poor link memory. Be generous, abundant and detached by forgetting links you place in posts; especially links pointing to business opportunities.

I link to my blogging course quite a bit but never get attached to any one link or blog post or guest post through which I link to it. Why? I have more fish to fry. I have more content to create and more bloggers to bond with and more folks to help and more bloggers to connect with and heck, after converting 50 more of my eBooks to paperback, I will have over 200 products about on Amazon, under the Blogging From Paradise umbrella. That is a lot of products to promote! We need to have a poor link memory to forget the prior link we promoted so we can move forward and promote more links, more content and greater blogging success. Envision yourself having an abundant mindset. What happens if you do not feel like anything seems short, scarce or running out? Being prolific is what happens. Being generous is easier if you are not burdened by any link to promote, to review and to assess regularly. I am not opposed to scanning metrics if doing so feels good and relaxing but most bloggers never take the time to assess their genuine feelings when it comes to how they feel promoting links.

I do. I am ruthless in assessing, observing, embracing and moving along my energies because watching your energy is the key to blogging success. Blogging from abundance, relaxation and trust leads to success while blogging from fear, scarcity, tension and anxiety leads to failure.

Which road do you prefer to take?

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How to Get Over the Fear Nobody Will Buy Your Product



Ship. Publish.

Promote the heck out of the product. Unearth fears. Feel fears. See fears come true. Release fears. Sell your product. More and more folks buy your product only if you face, feel and release fears aligned with the product. If you hold the fears ya ain’t selling the product. Even if you publish a blogging product – like my blogging course – and sell it for a little bit you will not generate big sales until you fail enough to finally feel fears triggered by failure. Feeling fears clears fears which clears resistance which helps you inspire more people to buy the product.

Getting over this fear is messy. Do you enjoy feeling like a complete loser? Nope. Do you enjoy feeling like a complete fraud, or huckster, or embarrassed or ashamed? Nope. You hate trying so hard and then, no freaking people buy the course you promoted 10,000 times but doing so and feeling fears triggered simply makes it easy to promote the product, because feeling and getting over the fear makes you promote the product like you breathe. Being in that space, plenty of people see the product and more folks buy the product.

I promoted my blogging course to the tune of 8,000 page views before someone bought it. 8000 page views was nothing. I had to clear fear-resistance during the 8,000 page views to show the world how fun, freeing and inspired this course was. Fear cleared, more people bought it at 10 times the initial price versus the initial cheapy price. Raising the price ten fold? Yep; another fear for me to conquer. But I did it, and far more people bought it at $350 than at $36. See how funny fear works? You fear something, refuse to feel the fear, and struggle. But feeling the fear and doing it anyway leads to increasing success. Buy the course for a fun, entertaining, inspired blogging guide. Tis the season for celebration and joy and love and fun, helpful blogging courses.

I have no tips for nudging into fear save meditating and doing yoga frequently. Following each habit expands your awareness which helps you become intimately aware of your fears, so you can feel fears and release fears. Feels rough but this is part of the blogging journey if you want to get over the fear of selling your stuff. Hey; do you want to hurt people, mislead people or lie to people with your blogging product? No? Then just sell the thing already. Ship it. Publish it. Fear is so insidious. Fear makes you do what you do not want to do, if you trust fear. Fear causes you to tune into an alternate, illusory universe, where nothing is true and everything is lies, smoke and mirrors. Do you really want to take that road? I did not think so.

All I can do is be a cheerleader. You need to be the athlete on the court, not the fan on the sidelines. Get on the court. Publish your product. Promote your product. You will eventually face, feel and release all the fears you need to release to become a successful blogger and to sell your product successfully, too. Get in the game. People will buy your product when you get clear on it.

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Pro Blogging Tip: Release Expectations




Am I asking you to be a Blogging Buddha? Nope. Not really. No one save enlightened beings completely releases expectations but us mere mortals clinging some to a worldly life can largely release expectations, to become successful and to enjoy the blogging journey. 10 minutes ago, I checked my email. I received a few. I clearly make it difficult to get in touch with me through email because I want to give most attention and energy to building a passive income empire. Every second I spend in email, I could be spending creating content and building connections. Knowing this, it feels good to receive few emails because it helps me scale and move forward from an abundant energy.

Unfortunately, most bloggers have heavy expectations when it comes to receiving email. Bloggers expect a chock filled inbox, with all types of clients, Paypal payments and sponsored post deals. What happens if you get 3 emails daily, all responses to comments? Your expectations not being met levels you, depressing you, making you sad, sapping your energy. If you expect some sweet outcome and reality is not delivering you the outcome to fulfill the expectation, you eventually lose your blogging motivation and quit. Or you make the massive mistake of quitting after seeing your expectations fall short, then, you begin blogging again, quit again after expectations are unfulfilled, and you suffer through this vicious cycle until you fail and quit for good.

Release expectations. Begin blogging with an intent to live your dreams but let go the anchor of expectation because either you feel hopeless after not getting what you expected or you feel average when expectations line up or you feel super high and excited after exceeding expectations, leading to an imminent crash after your emotions settle down. Expectations are anchors, pulling you down, holding you back, preventing meteoric blogging growth. I expect little to nothing blogging-wise because my day is about having fun helping people to blog successfully. I cannot go wrong whether I sell a copy of my blogging course or not because I have no expectations; I just promote the course in a seeming billion places (coming soon) and leave things at that.

If anything, allow a little part of yourself to desire some expectation but make it tiny. Why? If the expectation does not come true quickly, you will keep blogging from an energetic, relaxed, abundant vibe, positioning yourself to succeed. Harboring wee expectations means you remain unstirred if the expectations do not manifest; no crushed, hopeless feeling. Meanwhile, most bloggers with grand, wild expectations often slam into tons of resistance because no spectacular dream comes through and manifest overnight. Living your dream life through blogging requires years and thousands upon thousands of hours of generous service.

Blog for an absolute love of blogging. Be passionate about the blogging process. Release largely on outcomes because weighing yourself down with expectations slows you down. Imagine desiring big blogging bucks only to see an empty inbox for the next 3 months? 90 plus days, zero dollars. After the 90th day, most bloggers quit blogging for good, because they came up so short on their expectations, being frustrated, disgusted, and tired of wasting their time.

Fall in love with the process – not outcomes – to fuel yourself for your blogging journey.

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