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What To Do When People Aren’t Nice

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It’s a dirty fact of the Web: When you combine anonymity with an instant global voice, which the Internet does perfectly, you’re going to run into a lot of jerks.

It is amazing how quickly common sense and basic courtesy get thrown out the window as people people call one another names, tell lies, spread rumors and do whatever they can to hurt the people on the other side of the connection. It is sad, frustrating and petty. However, it is all too easy to do when you forget that there are human beings at the other end of every computer.

Still, whether you are a casual blogger or a massively wealthy professional blogger, you’re going to run into people who don’t like you and make that known both off and on your site.

As such, it is important to know how to handle such situations so you avoid letting them drag both you and your work down to their level.

1. Keep Your Comments Civil

The first and most important place to start is on your own site, especially in your own comments or your own forum if you have one.

It is important to require that all user-uploaded content meet criteria for your site. This means not only ensuring that it isn’t spam, but also that it is civilized and respectful.

On my sites, I have a rule that it is acceptable to express any viewpoint that is on topic, but personal attacks are strictly forbidden. It is one thing to argue the merits of a viewpoint, but another to attack the people expressing them.

If a comment or a post crosses the line, delete it or edit it as appropriate and, whatever you do, do not show any favoritism for commenters you agree with. Keeping an even keel is crucial.

If you don’t allow personal attacks on your site, you immediately go a long way to making your site a better place for all commenters, not just yourself as an author.

2. Delete Emails and IMs

Though it seems most who want to harass enjoy doing so in a public sphere, some will also use email and IM to annoy bloggers or others on the Web they do not like.

The simplest solution to these unwanted messages is to ignore them. If they become too harassing, you can filter out the incoming emails and/or blog the IM accounts being used. If the person continues to be harassing and/or becomes threatening, you can look at the email headers to discover who their ISP and mail providers are and, if needed, notify them of the abuse.

However, the main thing is to not engage back. If someone has already contacted you with a tone that shows an intent to harass and annoy, any attempt to reason or make amends will likely just fan the flames and draw out the incident.

3. On Other Sites

In addition to comments and emails, some will also take the opportunity to post colorful and interesting opinions at other sites, either using forums or their own blogs.

These are tough situations to deal with because, even if the harsh words amount to libel, there is very little one can do about it. Unlike with copyright, there is no way to secure removal of libelous content as hosts, under U.S. law, have no obligation to do so.

The only response in these cases is, if possible, to file suit.

If the work is posted on a community site, such a forum, you might be able to get it removed by contacting the admins. Likely they have community guidelines similar to the ones I mentioned for blog comments. However, if they refuse a polite request to do so, there isn’t much more one can do.

Once again though, engaging and responding is almost certainly a bad idea. Once someone has already thrown good manners and respect to the wind, any attempt to explain, correct or interact is only going to make things worse.

4. Developing a Thick Skin

One of the most important things any blogger can develop resilience to insults, especially if they are going to be involving themselves in any political controversies.

Sadly, there is no real key or secret to developing a tough exterior. Some of it is a matter of nature, certain people seem to take such insults better than others, but much of it is learning how to walk away from a confrontation and distance yourself mentally from those who try to hurt you.

If you find yourself getting emotionally invested in a dispute, it’s best to end it there and walk away. Sometimes, for your own sanity, it is best to allow the other person to get the last word.

Your pride has to take a back seat to your overall happniess.

5. The Most Important Thing

In the end, don’t worry too much about how trolls and those who hate you will affect other’s opinions of you. Even if you run a business, everyone expects a few negative reviews.

The most important things to dealing with those who don’t like you on the Web is to make sure they are in the minority.

If you treat others with respect, create good content, keep your promises and try to do the right thing, for every person who hates you, ten will probably sing your praises. They may disagree with you, but they will respect you and it will show.

Bottom Line

In the end, the Web is a nasty place at times and, no matter how good of a person you are, some people are going to hate you. It’s a fact of life.

The best thing you can do is be prepared for it, understand your rights when you are in that situation and, most importantly, not let it get to you or stop your work, whatever it may be.

If you’re doing something that you feel is worthwhile, then it is too important to even consider stopping it because one person goes overboard with his disagreement. It is that simple.

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3 Tips for Bonding with Blogging Influencers

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Forget traditional influencer marketing. We want to go deeper.

Bloggers teach influencer marketing from a less genuine space sometimes. Imagine learning how to try to get someone to do something for you. Manipulation marketing. Fear-based marketing. Problems arise; spam folders become your landing spot. I observe a decent percentage of influencer marketing emails in my spam folder because fear-pitches get labeled as spam and become spam, 100% of the time.

What is the solution? Learn how to bond with blogging influencers.

I remember people who befriend me. I admire people who endorse me or promote me. I appreciate people who buy my course or eBooks. I love people who generously help me for months. Guess what? Bonding with established bloggers influences the influencers. I do stuff for dear blogging friends I do not do for anybody else. If a friend sends me a guest post and their writing is tight, I place it. Even if said post spans 1000 words or more – my minimum count is 600 – I place it without hesitating. Friends found my heart. Friends influenced me through kindness and generosity. I am largely putty in their blogging hands.

Instead of trying to manipulate a successful stranger, bond with a friend. Change your approach to influencer marketing. Make friends. Help without asking. In time, blogging bonds form organically. If you practice writing, the world becomes your oyster because influencers take you to new levels of success, without you even asking.

Follow these tips to bond with influencers.

1: Buy a Resource

The best way to bond with an influencer is to get inside their heads.

Influential bloggers had to influence influential bloggers on the way up to become influential. Invest in a resource like my influential blogger eBook to learn how influencers do it. Speak their language. Connect. Take their viewpoint. Learn how to be influential yourself.

When you discover how to be influential through my resource you in essence, learn how to influence, influencers, by bonding with these pros.

2: Spend a Few Months Giving Not Asking

Bloggers I remember, then befriend, spend at least a few months giving and not asking. Someone buys my course, publishes 10 comments on my blog, and retweets my posts 10 or 20 times during a 3 month period. These people pop up on my radar screen because they gave and asked for nothing. Bonds form. Friendships develop.

Retweet fellow bloggers. Help them. Feature fellow bloggers. Open your blog to guest posting. Guest post on other blogs. Comment genuinely on blogs. Buy products.

Ask for nothing, for at least 3-4 months. Allow friendships to form organically. Blogging friends help each other because blogging friends trust each other. Influential bloggers fall into this helping lot too, as you generously serve them, ask for nothing and polish your writing skills. I gained more endorsements from pros by being generous than through any other method. Help influential bloggers. Ask for nothing. Influential bloggers help you without you asking for a darn thing.

3: Never Rush the Process

Some blogger friend requested me on Facebook a few moments ago. I scanned my messages to see his business pitch in the “other” folder. He simply rushed the process of pitching an established blogger. I appreciate the friend request but pitching your business before generously helping me ensures I ignore all future messages. He rushed the process so I let him go.

Perhaps he smartens up and begins helping me generously without asking for anything. After a few months of helping me and asking for nothing, we bond. We become friends. From there, the opportunities are limitless. Even if I do not use his service, if he has skills and a reputable business model I can share his services with my readers.

Good things take some time. Never rush the bonding process.

Allow bonds to form organically to do influencer marketing right.

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How Do Blogging and Fitness Relate?

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I spend 3 hours daily honing my mental and physical fitness.

In truth, you can and will succeed online following simple fundamentals from a generous, detached energy. No need to be fit to go full time blogging. But if you feel bad because your body feels bad and your mind fears losing it all, have you succeeded? I do not believe so.

I wrote an eBook sharing my daily regimen to explain what many of you readers want to know: how do I do it all? I am no blogging god. I am just human. But I write and connect quite a bit. People wish to know how I wrote 100 plus eBooks in addition to all the other stuff I do while circling the globe. Well, blogging and fitness are 2 peas in a pod for me. Both play a big role if you desiring leveling up and feeling good predominantly as you enjoy the ride.

Blogging and Fitness

Let’s say you wake up on a Monday morning as a full time employee who blogs part time. Feeling terrible and dreading work, why write and publish a post? Too busy. Do it later. Put off the post until tonight. But you feel too tired that night. Repeat this cycle for 3 months. 90 days passed. Still no blog post. Why? You filled your mind with fear and pain. Manifesting as blogging loss, backburnering the post for 3 months indicates fear in mind. Why fear? 100% of the time, fear dominates minds of people who spend zero time on mental fitness, never meditating or doing deep yin yoga or observing their thoughts and feelings. Most of the time, these same folks dominated by their own fears never commit seriously to being physically fit through exercising.

Feel good by caring for your mind and body. Vibe higher than fears crippling most bloggers. Imagine the above scenario with one difference: you devote 1-2 hours daily exercising and raising your energy via mindset training. Devote 30 minutes to power walking and 30 minutes to deep yin yoga. On waking that Monday morning, either a blog post idea finds you and you write the post, or after a few uncomfortable moments and feelings, the idea flows to you and you write the post.

I cannot explain this process logically because it flows 100% emotionally, feelings-wise. Visualize yourself in moments you feel really good. All seems possible. Ideas flow to you. Opportunities flow to you. Why? Feeling good magnetizes you to freeing, success-promoting ideas. Being fit mentally and physically is the easiest way to feel good most of the time. Plus in those moments you feel bad mentally and physically, you face, feel and release the bad feelings, quickly, because you feel mentally and physically fit, predominantly.

Gratitude

Being fit naturally alerts you to the success-promoting idea of gratitude. Gratitude builds blogging success because seeing every penny of income, every blog comment and all interest in your blogging courses feels awesome to you. Feeling awesome inspires you to blog for years generously. Blogging generously for years makes you successful.

Corey at the Good Oil Marketing retweeted my blogging course recently. I feel grateful he spread the word for me considering he is a successful, high level marketer. I feel these feelings and build on my success because I feel grateful. I feel grateful because I trained my mind and body to feel good, through being fit daily, in order to tune into appreciation easily.

Get fit.

Don’t quit.

Be a successful blogger by being mentally and physically fit.

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Why Doing this Works Better than Asking for Business Referrals

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After I released my flagship eBook – How to Retire to a Life of Island Hopping through Smart Blogging – I noticed something neat. My sales increased 12 fold the day I published a guest post for a highly successful blogger.

Seeing this spike clued me in to the quickest, easiest way to increase business: help people for free. Being generous improves skills, increases exposure and expands your business. Greater traffic and profits follow generous bloggers because helping people for free helps you be skilled and see, two qualities in every prospering blogger who reaps sweet blogging profits.

A large set of bloggers goes in another direction. Some ask for business referrals from trusted blogging buddies to drum up business. Feel free to take this route but know referral fishing is an ineffective way to drive profits because of two clear reasons:

  • referral-seeking seems to be time-wasting
  • referral-seeking rarely inspires trusted bloggers to take clear, business-building action, for you

I know 20 plus web developers. A few trusted blogging web developer buddies have reached out to me, seeking referrals. Two issues arise:

  • the referral seeker has no idea if I know bloggers needing web development; non-targeted campaign
  • I already know 20 plus developers, trusted buddies all, so I could never choose one to refer to someone if 20 seem qualified

Top Bloggers Become Ruthlessly Effective with their Time

Versus seeking referral business by asking blogging buddies if they know someone requiring your service, spend 20 minutes to write and publish a quality guest post for a blogger in your business niche. Instead of pitching 1 human, show off your web development skills for free, via a guest post, for 1,000 people. Do you see what I mean? Leverage. Do not ask for business. Serve for business. Although time needs pass and generosity needs inclusion in blogging business-building, helping for free is the quickest, simplest way to increase blogging business because you reach large, targeted audiences of clients with your attention and energy versus asking 1 person for business in non-targeted, ineffective fashion.

12 Times Daily Sales

I recall the day vividly, 5 years ago. I created and launched Blogging From Paradise. Before writing 100 plus eBooks, I wrote one. I did drive some sales through my blog but guest posting woke me up; why not leverage my presence and grow business by helping people for free, via different platforms? Eye-opener for me. Instead of asking, I gave. How easy? Giving freely is the easiest way to get freely. I observed a 12 times daily sales eBook increase for good reason that day: helping people generously through sites other than your blog is a simple way to grow your blogging business.

The simplest, direct, effective way to grow your business is to help people for free. Asking for referrals leads to a client or customer here and there, but full time bloggers are not in the “here and there” business as far as growing your venture. Pro bloggers drive steady profits through their blog by being generous on their blog and on other platforms.

Be helpful for free. Publish posts. Submit guest posts. Run a podcast. Broadcast live on Facebook. Help people for free to help people for pay. Versus untargeted referral-seeking, this is the effective way to grow your blogging business from a generous, genuine energy.

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