I scanned my email a few moments ago. A few folks tried to get my attention. I only gave attention to a few folks because I have 100 plus eBooks – like this one – and multiple courses to promote all day long. I also have plenty of content to create and connections to make in order to grow my blogging presence. Blogging is no joke. Doing this gig full time requires a strict focus on who you offer your attention to, knowing why you do it. Most email seems to be noise because most bloggers do not mindfully build strong, long term relationships over years, daily or weekly, and diligently. I give my blogging attention to people who earn my trust or pay me money to grow my business, because I am a business man. I am a generous business man but trust people who earn my trust over a sustained period of time, generously serving me.
Who do you give your attention to? Why? Observe fear being the driver. I used to give my attention to every single person who reached out to me out of fear. I feared looking like a jerk, rude or arrogant if I did not reply to everyone who emailed me. I also feared missing out on opportunities if I ignored emails or social media requests. I clung to so many fears grounded in poverty consciousness and low self-esteem that these fears manifested as me replying 100% of the time, wasting time doing non-essential stuff, and wasting more time by NOT doing essential stuff like publishing helpful content through blogging and guest posting, and building meaningful connections through genuine blog commenting and by promoting other bloggers.
Deeply and honestly observing my fear of not replying to everyone felt uncomfortable. I felt even more uncomfortable when I began ignoring and not responding to every blogger and reader who reached out to me. Sitting with these energies when people replied once, twice or thrice, reflected my fears first, then, THEIR fear, their attachment and their fear-based need to grab my attention. I live by this mantra; I belong to no one, and no one belongs to me. Embrace this idea and live by it to liberate yourself from fear-attachment to other human beings.
Reply to people who empower you to live your highest vision of self. Give your attention and energy to love, empowered vibes and that high energy driver that we all love, that inspired soul-vibe. Reply or respond to nobody else. Guaranteed, you quickly feel much better. Plus you quickly save minutes to hours of time, the moment you cease responding to anybody who emails you. Be generous but discerning. Be helpful but know who to offer attention and energy to, for both parties’ benefit. If someone gets angry that you did not reply to their email, you owe them nothing. Their low esteem and arrogance is their problem. Let them own it, and solve it, on their own. Can you imagine me, Ryan Biddulph, feeling hurt or angry that someone did not reply to me? Are you nuts? I am clear, confident and detached. No one belongs to me, so I am not deluded or insane enough to believe they owe me anything. Even in terms of money, anybody who stiffed me in the past simply gets a release. I fight no one for money because I prefer to allow money to flow to me,easily and freely, without a fight. Money is energy like that. Money flees fights, and flows to relaxed, trusting, abundant-feeling folks. Ditto for rocking clients, versus stingy or angry folks, who roast you for not replying. Ignore them. Allow them to work on their fears. Not your responsibility.